I do not love you except because I love you

Checking off four of the events that were going to kill me in the first three months of the second semester.

Finally, some time to breathe.

The past three months was a little bit of a torture. As masochistic as it sounds – An enjoyable torture. I got to work with 4 directors on 2 shows, created my own performance, designed a media art installation, and wrote an essay. -exhales-

with the cast of a doll's house

Worked with three different directors for the three acts of Henrik Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House”. Being in all three acts and Middletown took it’s toll on me. I thought it was unfair, I was exhausted, I was so so tired. Looking at it from outside in made me realize it happened for a reason. I’m really glad it did. Come on, I got to work with Adam AND Li Xie + Fendi + Vadi. 8D

Explanation: Class of 14. Split up into 4 groups. 1 group did Middletown, 3 did the three acts of doll’s house. I’m too lazy to explain further.

Speaking of Adam, we had a birthday celebration for him. He’s a monkey (Chinese zodiac), too! Which means he’s one cycle (12 years) above me. The cake was yummy. Baked by resident chef Nadia of course.

When Adam first told me I was in Middletown (AND DOLL’S HOUSE!), I was like “No I’m not. How am I supposed to do my IP?! And Doll’s House?!” and he said “Because.” At that moment I wanted to die. Thank God for people like Iggy who was all “it all happens for a reason!” and Edmund who talked about God’s power over time, WHICH IS TRUE. More about that later.

My IP was about human empathy. I don’t think I’ll get my file/journal back but it was awesome.

more of the set

The set was in a pod in school. Very tumblr-worthy. 🙂 Thank God for the Mommy who helped me with this. T_T

Then Middletown cast went for opening night drinks. The only group picture I have is blur. -sob-

Cast night out
Kris and Yibao

Once again, I am glad I’m in both shows.

The Director

Working with Adam was awesome, because we don’t know if we’ll work with him in our final year, and I’m glad we got the opportunity to. Viewpoints every single rehearsal (despite not being needed at all) was a bit of a hell, but now I’m proud to say it’s not that bad! 12 sun salutations still sucks, but I learnt so much from doing it every freaking day.

And after we bumped it, we freaking did it in SAND. Sand got everywhere. And after I made the mistake of lying down during open session, I’ve been digging sand out my ear till today. Lying down makes you a target of having sand poured on you.

Dressing room. Last night!

I’m alive.

I didn’t think I’d come out in one piece. I thought I’d had to chop off an arm somewhere to buy more time. But my God made time. I don’t know how I managed to do this, but because of His abundant grace and favour, I’m here. Alive and well.

These months have taught me many many things.

  1. I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
  2. Being a lazy piece of ass does nothing for you.
  3. Who is truly by your side when you’re breaking into pieces.
  4. Who will be there for me, not just in words, but having the balls to do something about it.
  5. My God is an awesome God.
  6. Thank God for Moms. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

And so I keep climbing. Until next time…


P.P.S. I read/watched both Hunger Games and Battle Royale. I love both. Despite being similar, their politic is very different. Love both. Would love it more if THG movie was more gory. #sadist

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